For her father I brought some top-shelf liquor. And for her mother I gifted a piece of jewelry, though she wasn’t impressed -- impossible to win her over I've since discovered. Oh well…At this point I should note that my in-laws are Asian, and their English is not good. As I’ve learned this isn’t such a bad thing! I’m sure you readers wouldn’t mind not being able to fully communicate with your in-laws…But as they say, actions speak louder than words. And the gift I received from her mother left me quite speechless…My future mother-in-law took out a small glass bottle/vial and held it up to show my wife and I. She handed it to us for closer inspection. The little bottle had both Chinese characters and English text too. I started reading…Very quickly I realized this was a sexual oil/lubricant! What I was reading were instructions on how to use the oil to massage a man's penis. The short text explained the main technique of how to lube and stroke the man's penis using this exceptional. I crawled from bed carefully to avoid waking anyone, threw on my pants, and grabbed my Glock and two extra magazines. I didn’t know why I needed the Glock, but my gut told me I did.The upstairs was secure, and I didn’t hear any unusual sounds. The alarm panel by the front door showed that the alarms were on and nobody had breached the house. The alarm panel in the kitchen showed exactly the same thing. Then I barely heard what sounded like a far away, muffled scream. The scream was long enough that I could tell it was a male scream, not female, but it stopped before I could pinpoint exactly where it came from. Even though I felt that it had come from inside the house, I turned off the back-door alarm and stepped outside, staying perfectly still, listening.Frogs were croaking and an occasional bird chirping in the dark told me the scream hadn’t been from back here. Seeing me, one of the farm’s dogs bounded over, looking to get his ears scratched. Since he hadn’t reacted to anything.
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